Well! The time has finally come. John is leaving us.
He’s talked of nothing else for months, and now at last it’s
here.
And though he’s said many a time he doesn’t want a fuss
I’m sure he won’t object if you buy him a farewell beer.
I hope his time with us has given him some good tales to
tell
It’s been eventful, that’s for sure; right from the very
start
Maybe soon someone will know our stories as well
As we know those of Kodak and the Royal Navy; by heart!
We’ve seen big John, we’ve seen slim John, with beard and
without
We thought once that we’d lost him; a scary time there
We’ve seen him lighting cigarettes, we’ve seen him put them
out
Always joking and cheerful, always combing his hair.
Someone who’ll be glad to have him back is lovely Jill
Though of course it means an end now to her peaceful life
They married when they were just kids and yet she loves him
still
And everybody here knows how proud he is of “The Wife”.
We’ve heard so much about her that we feel we know her well
Being surrounded by ladies 24 hours a day
John we know just what you’re thinking, that it will
be…heaven!
At least if it all gets too much he’s got his garden shed
He can sit in there with his cats, a beer upon the shelf
He may think he’s a tough guy, but often it’s been said
That secretly under it all he’s a pussycat himself.
Can any of us imagine this company without John?
He’s been here so long now we all thought he’d taken root
The place will sure be quieter, now that he has gone
A little sad, like the TV when someone presses mute.
We’re so glad that he stuck with us, for better or for worse
Despite the obstacles and threats strewn along the way
That’s why, John, we dedicate to you this little verse
To thank you for making us what we are today
So I suppose this poem is a kind of Dear John letter
And though we hesitate to say it, lest it make you cry
There may be other Johns, but there will never be a better
And so at last we all must say Goodbye, Dear John, Goodbye.
